Turn a Bad Day into A Good Day - Managing Feelings
When life or people become frustrating or unmanageable, it's natural to feel emotional, annoyed, and even succumb to acting out. But afterwards we may experience a morning-after, "emotional hangover", when faced with the consequences of our ill guided actions. In a fury of frustration, eating an entire bag of chips in front of the TV or sending out a nasty email feels so good in the moment! Yet, what's left 24 hours later is mostly self-recrimination and collective misery. No one feels good. Like a compound fracture, an annoying situation becomes broken in two places - packing on the pounds or damaging a relationship only piles on icky feelings of guilt and remorse making a bad situation worse. "What was I thinking?!!" is hardly a good platform from which to assess what happened in going forward. Having a stomach ache or losing a relationship isn't helpful either.
Loss of control is the result of being hypnotized by the powerful pull of negative emotions and distractions i.e., eating junk food, spouting off, spending money you don't have, etc. Then, like any trance state, the momentary "high" wears off. Those feelings of annoyance and frustration will eventually ebb away no matter what. What do you want to have to show for it after, something positive or something negative? It's totally up to you. True power comes from self-control and positive distractions. Take a deep breath, take a walk around the block. You get a time-out with the added bonus of a positive payoff - burn off a few calories.
When life or people become frustrating or unmanageable, it's natural to feel emotional, annoyed, and even succumb to acting out. But afterwards we may experience a morning-after, "emotional hangover", when faced with the consequences of our ill guided actions. In a fury of frustration, eating an entire bag of chips in front of the TV or sending out a nasty email feels so good in the moment! Yet, what's left 24 hours later is mostly self-recrimination and collective misery. No one feels good. Like a compound fracture, an annoying situation becomes broken in two places - packing on the pounds or damaging a relationship only piles on icky feelings of guilt and remorse making a bad situation worse. "What was I thinking?!!" is hardly a good platform from which to assess what happened in going forward. Having a stomach ache or losing a relationship isn't helpful either.
Loss of control is the result of being hypnotized by the powerful pull of negative emotions and distractions i.e., eating junk food, spouting off, spending money you don't have, etc. Then, like any trance state, the momentary "high" wears off. Those feelings of annoyance and frustration will eventually ebb away no matter what. What do you want to have to show for it after, something positive or something negative? It's totally up to you. True power comes from self-control and positive distractions. Take a deep breath, take a walk around the block. You get a time-out with the added bonus of a positive payoff - burn off a few calories.
Imagine feeling good, staying peaceful in the midst of frustrating circumstances. It is possible! However, it does require some effort and conscious thought that can be difficult to muster when you are upset. Negative emotions induce a trance-like state that hinders good judgment. Cultivating inner peace takes practice, but is absolutely worth it!
The secret is having positive distractions planned ahead to fend off making a catastrophic situation out of a bad moment. Then, when a negative emotion or situation pops up, it won't take over and kill your impulse control by making you reach for that bag of chips or lashing out in anger.
Plan ahead to positively distract yourself! Stock the fridge with healthy foods, i.e., grab a piece of watermelon. Or dark chocolate. Share your frustration with an impartial individual who can offer good judgment and objective feedback. Or, help someone out. Random acts of kindness for yourself and others are a quick and dirty way to feel better and rack up time well spent.
Annoyances and frustration are an inevitable part of life. Getting angry and making yourself (and others) suffer by making things worse is NOT. Just ask yourself: How do I want to distract myself here? How do I want manage myself and my emotions? Positively or negatively? The good news is it's up to you. Like a well developed muscle, peace takes practice. And, I'm loving that watermelon.
