What's Fun Got To Do With It?

What's Fun Got To Do With It?  Asking the Right Questions

Sometimes our mental health hinges on asking the right questions. When experiencing a bout of depression or anxiety, it may become easy to pathologize our current state i.e., view our condition as psychologically unhealthy or abnormal.  Certainly, in the present day environment of being trauma-informed, it seems like all the focus is on healing childhood "wounds" or grieving losses in adulthood.  But, what if it wasn't as complicated as all that?  What if we've been asking the wrong questions?  What if focusing on how bad we feel, or our anxiety was better dealt with by making a slight shift in our mindset?  This is where the question: What's Fun Got To Do With It? comes in.

When was the last time you had a roaring belly laugh?  Or grinned from ear-to-ear so hard your face hurt?  When was the last time you intentionally set out to have fun?  Do you even know what fun feels like anymore?  Fun is a necessary prelude to joy.  Fun brings us lightheartedness.  Fun is a giant stress reliever.  It resets our nervous system and offers a coffee break from becoming over focused on the negative.  Fun is a respite from the daily grind of life's responsibilities and chores.  Fun and laughter bond us to the people we care about and creates memories we share together.  Fun brings us back into balance and shifts our perspective making life worthwhile.  Fun eliminates the drudgery we can get caught up in when we work too hard.  Fun helps recharge and rejuvenate our physical energy.  It can also provide the space we need to shift into problem solving mode, instead of endlessly ruminating.

Just like getting enough sleep can reduce stress and anxiety levels, fun makes it easier to cope with emotional challenges.  There's something to be said for gallows humor.  At the end of his life, my father developed Lewy-Body dementia.  In our morning phone call, I would always ask him, "What's going on?", and he would reply, "You're asking me?".  Even though my Dad's memory was slowly waning, he never lost his sense of humor and was able to laugh at himself to keep going.

Here's a challenge for you.  Make a list of the top ten activities that make you laugh, smile, giggle, or feel joy.  Make sure to add silly nonsensical items to the list.  Then the next time you feel super anxious or depressed, pull out this list and do the quickest activity you can manage in the moment.  Take time to lighten up, put your emotions into perspective, and recognize not all negative feelings mean we are suffering from ongoing trauma or wounds.  

Here's my top ten list of fun mental health activities:

1.   Watch YouTube videos of the Beatles. 

2.   Joy ride in the car to my favorite rock-n-roll tunes.

3.   Watch the sunset over the beach.

4.   Pull goofy faces in the mirror.

5.   Watch dance videos on YouTube.

6.   Go to a Comedy Open Mic night.

7.   Tell Knock-Knock jokes to my friends.

8.   Pull a prank or practical joke on a friend.

9.   Listen to an oldie but goody AM radio station.

10.  Make up irreverent words to my favorite songs.

You get the point.  I leave you with a laugh track video from my YouTube channel. 

A fun laugh track from a sketch comedy improv writing session with my friend, Stan. 

In loving memory of Stan Fleisher, soulmate and running partner.  May he RIP.

 

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Can AI Really Be Therapy? Addressing Absurdity

It really doesn't get anymore absurd than this.

 

Now we have AI Apps being advertised as real therapy. The depersonalization of vulnerable humans for monetary gain and data collection purposes is now complete.

This is such a joke. AI CAN NEVER BE THERAPY. All these AI Apps exploiting vulnerable people with fatuous promises is disgusting.

All this is is Dear Diary with a sycophantic feedback loop, based on some Psych 101 principles in a dumb algorithm with a screen.  Call it what it is and please stop duping people.

 

This really takes AI too far. It strips us of all that makes us human.

I had a young man today tell me that he found a good therapist on Better Help for 2 half hour sessions a week, for $75.00 out of pocket, that has been a life saver. Why? Because he's not sitting alone in his pain.

Therapy is only therapy with two live humans, for God's sake. Don't let all this AI Therapy hype fool you. It is because we are human that we need other humans.

Now if Dear Dairy works for you, fantastic! But let's not confuse that with something it's not. It's not therapy, it's a playback machine and nothing more.

 

 

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Giving 'Til Hurts? Going Into Debt? Don't Do It! Try this instead ...

 A Unique Gift Giving Guide

 

This year, I am moved to write on the topic of gift giving.  It involves how I have come to develop and hone my special blend of gift giving habits into the spirit of a more significant and meaningful holiday venture. May my experience help you re-think about going into debt and over extending yourself this coming holiday season,.

 

Let's talk Black Friday. The epitome of this culture's Mass Psychosis of Consumerism. Long ago, I stepped away from this mass hysteria; I loathe shopping and the expectations this commercial consumption mindset entails and the debt economy it proliferates that only results in going broke, getting fat, and creating the illusion that more, more, more is the way to achieve happiness. 

 

It's not that I don't give gifts. But those gifts usually arrive on my doorstep via the synchronicity of the Universe.  At the right time and the right place.  Something that crosses my path and comes to me specifically because it was meant for you. A unique gift only you will like and appreciate. Most of the time, these items cost me virtually nothing.  Or, the cost is so miniscule, the price is worth paying to acquire this gift for your delight. These precious gifts accumulate all year long and don't cost me huge chunks of time and money to find. They come to me thru various means in daily life from numerous activities.  A closeout sale, a bookstore, a library sale, a garage sale, or maybe ebay and Etsy.  I never pay full price, the discount is part of the charm of the find.  

 

 

All Images Original Artwork by Me

 

When you receive such a gift, you know it is an expression of my love and gratitude for you. And I expect nothing in return on such an occasion. My joy is in giving you something special - uniquely meant for you and this is enough. You know that your presence is alive in my thoughts and consciousness, and this is the best gift of all.  Maybe I have a special gift stashed away for you right now.  

 

The added bonus is that I get to avoid the holiday rush and craziness of parking lots, crowded stores, overworked store clerks and grumpy shoppers.  And this is the most priceless gift of all.  A relaxed, peaceful holiday season and no bloated debt and anxiety with buyer's remorse.  I look forward to sharing the holiday festivities with you all!

 

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