Who Am I? What Do I Believe In?
When you're in the middle of a transformation, it can all seem very confusing. You are in a state of "becoming"; you don't know who you are anymore, your identity is under going reconstruction. You only know that who you "were" doesn't work anymore, but who you are becoming or need to be is vastly unclear; especially if you are dealing with a lot of past trauma.
The age old metaphysical questions of: "Who am I? What do I believe in?", are central in your mind every day. You are tempted to go back to the "old" you because it is familiar, safe, and something you know. It is comfortable, even if it's destructive. It's your comfort zone, habitual and easy to slide back into. But, somewhere deep inside, you know you are just circling around the same old drain. Getting the same unfulfilling results and living half a life, stagnating like a pond overgrown with weeds and toxic chemicals.
This is where you must trust that scary, uncomfortable, and living in the unknown is right where you're supposed to be. Clear the debris from the past, and excavate your unconscious mind so that the unconscious behaviors, emotions, thought patterns, and perceptual filters running your life on autopilot and creating your current illusion are revealed.
The current Narcissistic culture does not support this type of internal focus, reflection and renewal. It uses distractions of all kinds to keep us "busy", frantic, over stimulated. It encourages us to look "outward" for validation, when in reality we need to look inward to find the clues we need to be happy and live a purposeful life.
What this means is that we must take down time, spend time alone in contemplation. Solitude. We have only our intuition to guide us along, which is a good thing. The still small voice within is given a chance to grow stronger and guide us along. The beauty of this process in living by intuition is that people will emerge who support you in your "becoming". People you didn't really know were there. They offer all manner of support and encouragement, bring you books to help you, talk you through your emotions and confusion; but most importantly, they offer up a space for you to be entirely yourself, without expectations, for you to become who you really are - not what society or other people think you should be.
These are the people who will come forward with you. They require nothing from you because they "see" you for who you really are and accept you for the space you're in. And as you pick your way along this unknown path, you become less frightened, you relax, and surrender to this transition because it is inevitable and resisting is only more painful than just plucking your way through this maze of figuring things out. You come to live and understand that, "To know is, not to know." And this journey is actually a gift, and an adventure to embrace because you will never live more in the moment than when you are in a state of "becoming". And, as you are being led to "something" in the unknown, the upshot is learning to trust what's going on inside of you, instead of listening to the "noise" of the external world. Know that you're in a good place, you're open.
This is where you must trust that scary, uncomfortable, and living in the unknown is right where you're supposed to be. Clear the debris from the past, and excavate your unconscious mind so that the unconscious behaviors, emotions, thought patterns, and perceptual filters running your life on autopilot and creating your current illusion are revealed.
The current Narcissistic culture does not support this type of internal focus, reflection and renewal. It uses distractions of all kinds to keep us "busy", frantic, over stimulated. It encourages us to look "outward" for validation, when in reality we need to look inward to find the clues we need to be happy and live a purposeful life.
What this means is that we must take down time, spend time alone in contemplation. Solitude. We have only our intuition to guide us along, which is a good thing. The still small voice within is given a chance to grow stronger and guide us along. The beauty of this process in living by intuition is that people will emerge who support you in your "becoming". People you didn't really know were there. They offer all manner of support and encouragement, bring you books to help you, talk you through your emotions and confusion; but most importantly, they offer up a space for you to be entirely yourself, without expectations, for you to become who you really are - not what society or other people think you should be.
These are the people who will come forward with you. They require nothing from you because they "see" you for who you really are and accept you for the space you're in. And as you pick your way along this unknown path, you become less frightened, you relax, and surrender to this transition because it is inevitable and resisting is only more painful than just plucking your way through this maze of figuring things out. You come to live and understand that, "To know is, not to know." And this journey is actually a gift, and an adventure to embrace because you will never live more in the moment than when you are in a state of "becoming". And, as you are being led to "something" in the unknown, the upshot is learning to trust what's going on inside of you, instead of listening to the "noise" of the external world. Know that you're in a good place, you're open.
