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Showing posts with label Anger. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Anger. Show all posts

Thursday, April 18, 2024

Those Pesky Things Called Feelings

Turn a Bad Day into A Good Day - It's Your Decision

When life or people become frustrating or unmanageable, it's natural to feel emotional, annoyed, and even succumb to acting out.  But after wards we may experience a morning-after, "emotional hangover", when faced with the consequences of our ill guided actions.  In a fury of frustration, eating an entire bag of chips in front of the TV or sending out a nasty email feels so good in the moment!  Yet, what's left 24 hours later is mostly self-recrimination and collective misery.  No one feels good.  Like a compound fracture, an annoying situation becomes broken in two places - packing on the pounds or damaging a relationship only piles on icky feelings of guilt and remorse making a bad situation worse.  "What was I thinking?!!" is hardly a good platform from which to assess what happened in going forward.  Having a stomach ache or losing a relationship isn't helpful either.

Loss of control is the result of being hypnotized by the powerful pull of negative emotions and distractions i.e., eating junk food, spouting off, spending money you don't have, etc. Then, like any trance state, the momentary "high" wears off.  Those feelings of annoyance and frustration will eventually ebb away no matter what.  What do you want to have to show for it after, something positive or something negative?   It's totally up to you.  True power comes from self-control and positive distractions.  Take a deep breath, take a walk around the block. You get a time-out with the added bonus of a positive payoff - burn off a few calories.

Imagine feeling good, staying peaceful in the midst of frustrating circumstances.  It is possible!  However, it does require some effort and conscious thought that can be difficult to muster when you are upset.  Negative emotions induce a trance-like state that hinders good judgment.  Cultivating inner peace takes practice, but is absolutely worth it!

The secret is having positive distractions planned ahead to fend off making a catastrophic situation out of a bad moment. Then, when a negative emotion or situation pops up, it won't take over and kill your impulse control by making you reach for that bag of chips or lashing out in anger.

Plan ahead to positively distract yourself!  Stock the fridge with healthy foods, i.e., grab a piece of watermelon.  Or dark chocolate.  Share your frustration with an impartial individual who can offer good judgment and objective feedback.  Or, help someone out.  Random acts of kindness for yourself and others are a quick and dirty way to feel better and rack up time well spent.

Annoyances and frustration are an inevitable part of life.  Getting angry and making yourself (and others) suffer by making things worse is NOT.  Just ask yourself: How do I want to distract myself here?  How do I want manage myself and my emotions?  Positively or negatively?  The good news is it's up to you. Like a well developed muscle, peace takes practice.  And, I'm loving that watermelon.

Saturday, January 4, 2020

About Suicide, Mental "Ilness" & Mental Health Stigma

Mental health stigma still has us in the Dark Ages

Boot Straps Stoicism has killed more people than anything I know in the form of alcoholism, addiction, suicide, and the long slow death of denial and PTSD.  Depression, anxiety, and PTSD are not illnesses to be scorned or defects of character - they are neuropsychological responses to extreme stress in numerous forms that affect every one differently and are NOT to be shamed by ignorant bystanders who would lay judgments on people struggling. 


While it's getting better, mental health stigma still persists like a bad dream, even today. So, while addiction and suicide rates climb, competent qualified mental health professionals are at a premium, and often difficult to find in rural areas and small towns.  Good mental health care can be found if you know where to look.  The search is worth the effort, and this blog has a number of links on our home page to get you started.

Self Help Strategies
 
If you are struggling with mental health symptoms and are uncomfortable seeking a therapist, counselor, or life coach, then get out a notebook, and START WRITING.  Write whatever comes into your head, don't censor it and UNLOAD.  When the paper owns it, you'll be able to look at it and see yourself more clearly.  This is the first step to well being.

No one knows better than you do what you are thinking and feeling, and the pen and paper are your vehicle to clear the channel, especially if you are bogged down in hopelessness, feelings of despair and raging emotion.  Remember, suicide is permanent, and feeling wretched might feel like it will last forever, but if the paper becomes your friend, then you can process those feelings and move thru them.  Being emotionally stuck is like being constipated, something has got to come out.
 
What about online coaching & therapy?

Studies have shown that online therapies can be quite effective in those dealing with suicidal thoughts. Even texting can be an effective intervention. What's important is reaching out for help, instead of suffering and staying stuck because it seems like there's no where to turn.

Below are some links to some interesting scientific articles on suicide prevention.  If you're feeling over whelming symptoms of distress, as outlined below, please seek professional mental health care.  There's no need to stay miserable and suffer endlessly alone!
 

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