We Have Lost Our Way - How do we get back?

As a society, as a collective, as a nation, and a world, we have lost our way. We have lost our ability to disagree and still peacefully co-exist together as fellow humans, who can love one another despite our differences. We have lost our ability to be humans together and derive a common purpose for being in community.

For every human who perishes in an early death from violence, be it war, gun violence, perpetrated murder, etc., I shed tears of sadness about the enduring pain and loss this causes for a family and our society. Dear God, how did we get to a place where our grandchildren cannot be safe in school? Why is loneliness an epidemic?

My take on this is that the computer and social media has created a depersonalized atmosphere where becomes easier and easier to dehumanize our fellow humans and "blame" everyone else for life's difficulties. This creates excuses to act out in violent ways, ignoring the consequences for our actions.

My dear father always told me, two wrongs don't make a right. Retaliation, revenge, and senseless opposition serves no one. Especially our young people. Our greatest power comes from our power to choose.

Today, I am asking you to stop arguing with people you disagree with and find some common ground. Stop reacting and choose to respond to others that fosters community and relationship. Let's stop fostering toxic reactions to circumstances we cannot control. Let's be grateful to be alive and be here together, instead of squandering our time picking other people apart.

Tomorrow, I will write about how I accomplish living this on a daily basis. For today, I'm asking you to join me in recreating a civil and polite society. We can do this. And make no mistake, it will save lives.

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Living Large Coaching & Counseling
It's Your Life. Your Evolution.

 

The Hard Truth About Most Therapy

It pains me to write this ... Nevertheless ... After reading hundreds of comments (or should I say complaints) about this mental health topic on YouTube, I must relent.  For most people, finding a truly competent therapist is a nightmare.  I, too, was one of those people.  Looking after an elderly father with dementia during the Covid lockdown left me with a classic case of complex PTSD.  My intensive search for a therapist was brutal.  The one clinician who accepted my insurance needed more help than I did.  After 6 months of trying to "make it work", I unceremoniously fired her.  No apologies, no regret, except that I hadn't done it sooner.

Most therapists mean well, but most clinical social workers and many master's level clinicians really do not have the educational background and training to provide much beyond light counseling. They are unable to offer the kind of care those with complex (C)PTSD and serious mental health issues like complex grief, chronic debilitating depression, panic disorder, and agoraphobia need.  Often, there is no collaborative process, sessions lack structure, and there are no treatment goals. And after 6 months of asking, "So, how are you doing?", therapists often become disinterested and distracted keeping the person stuck, especially if they have serious loss and life transition issues they struggling to grapple with.  No therapy is better than a bored, apathetic therapist.

Most master's level clinicians are not adequately trained to treat severe personality disorders, (C)PTSD, or psychotic disorders, such as schizophrenia, in their basic education.  This requires supervision and advanced, specialized training beyond licensure.  No therapist is, or can be, all things to all people. 

The long stream of comments I continuously read on social media about bad experiences and outcomes in therapy break my heart.  Thank you to all the YouTubers for telling the truth.  I want everyone here reading this to grab a hold of something fundamental.  No matter what mental health dilemma you find yourself going thru, you have value and worth, and are deserving of the best care available.  You must advocate for yourself.  If a therapist's methods aren't working, tell the truth.  How they respond will speak volumes.  If they can't hear you, ignore your concerns, or become dismissive, then terminate.  Please do not waste anymore time and money, and keep searching. 

The purpose of this blog is to assist those seeking mental health services, resources, and information. All counties in the USA have a local county Department of Mental Health Services. Start there. Some walk in clinics even have specific hours where you don't need an appointment to be seen.  Ask for referrals.  Don't forget to try peer support, such as 12 Step programs, which can be a life saver.  Links to these resources and many others are on the front page of this blog.

Lastly, if you've had a bad experience in therapy, I love to hear about in the comments.  What happened, how did you handle it?  Let us know.

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Living Large Coaching & Counseling
It's Your Life. Your Evolution.