If You Are Grieving - What's Normal, What's Not.

Most clinical models and mental health manuals do not off a realistic summary of real grief.  Far as I can tell, these definitions appear to have been written by those who've never lost someone close.  At 4 to 6 months you are still in shock, especially if it was a sudden death.  Year 2 is the WORST.  The shock has worn off and reality is setting. You live every day with it in your face that you are never going to see this person again.  All the support people provided in year 1 is gone. No one wants to hear about your grief anymore.  This agony can go well into year 3. 

At year 4, there is some acceptance.  The pain begins to dull a bit, the hurt turns to a reluctant new normal with memories that evoke gratitude for the person that was.  The hole inside begins to close up and the rawness isn't so fresh.  But, you are never the same.  Grief bursts continue to erupt without warning, sometimes intensely.  Grief never really ends.  Please know that at 6 months your process of grieving has only begun. And that is normal.  It takes your brain time to rewire and adapt to a new reality.  A reality not of our own making, that cannot be undone.  It is the utter permanence of the loss (or losses) that drives grief.  The landscape of our lives has been altered, and there's a missing piece that's irreplaceable forever.

So however you grieve and for however long, know that there is no time line or end point; life just morphs and evolves until a new normal emerges that is unpredictable and unknowable until we are there.

 Share your thoughts on grief in the comments below. 

 All Rights Reserved, Copyright
Living Large Coaching & Counseling
It's Your Life. Your Evolution.

Buy Me a Coffee: Express Your Support